Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
