Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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