sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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