I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
