clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
