Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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