I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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