i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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