u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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