he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize