Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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