i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
