the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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