so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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