No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize