weddingsv make me drug and hornr
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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