What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
