girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
