How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize