I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i was born a porn star she said
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
