I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
