So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
