i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize