Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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