I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
