It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
