It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
