Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize