grandma shit on top of the toilet
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
