You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
