i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So many bounce houses so little time
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
