trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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