pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
