Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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