He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
