third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
