yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
