So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
