I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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