i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Found your dick twin last night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
