Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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