Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
