You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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