i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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