I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
