I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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