you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
