just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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