forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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