Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
