All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
