margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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