I need help removing her.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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