she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
