My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
