I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize