all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
