I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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