Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
