It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
