Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
