just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
worst night to have a conscience
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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