I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
