YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
