if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
