so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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