I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
