their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
