Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
