just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
