He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
