If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
